Approaches to enhance relationships

On the Bath Spa University website, you can find research and training from the partnership attachment aware schools.

For information about training you can contact:

• the West Sussex Virtual School
• your linked practitioner or advisory teacher

Empathy and attunement form the foundation of strong relationships. Evidence shows that empathy and attunement create the most effective supportive and healing relationships.

Harry Biemens developed the principles of attunement in the 1980s. Attachment theory and mediated learning experiences strongly influenced his work.

Attunement means noticing another person and responding to them. It describes how we recognise and respond to someone's emotional needs and attempts to communicate. Attunement is a responsive and harmonious process. It explains how a person responds to another person's emotional needs through their behaviour and language.

Attunement helps us do more than observe behaviour. It helps us understand what that behaviour means. All behaviour communicates something. Behaviour can show what a person thinks or feels, such as joy, satisfaction, shame or hopelessness. It can also show what improves their wellbeing or makes them feel more vulnerable. This understanding helps us adjust our approach to better meet that person's needs. Attunement plays a key role in supporting others, especially people with attachment issues, complex needs or communication difficulties. When we attune to someone, we can notice signs of distress or difficulty and act quickly to help.

We can use attunement to build relationships and attachments. We do this by getting to know the other person, observing their behaviour, showing empathy, listening carefully and responding in a way that shows we have listened and understood.

Attunement supports the wellbeing, growth and learning of both children and adults. It helps adults understand how much support a child needs and what type of support will help them succeed in learning and social situations. It also helps adults understand the purpose behind a child's behaviour and respond appropriately.

When adults attune to the needs of a child or another adult, communication improves. Evidence shows that when children and adults attune to each other, children are more likely to follow instructions, ask for support and accept help.

Attunement develops over time and links closely to trust.

Applying the principles of attunement

Attunement develops over time and links closely to trust. Like any new skill, one person may lead the process at first. Over time, both people should contribute equally and build a two-way relationship. We often show attunement through non-verbal communication before we use words. This includes eye contact, facial expressions, body language and tone of voice.

Always consider individual needs and cultural differences. Some people find eye contact threatening, while some cultures see it as disrespectful. Some people find facial expressions difficult to read. Attunement and non-verbal communication become especially important when language makes communication more difficult.

Demonstrating the principles of attunement

The following are ways of demonstrating attunement

Being attentive

Turn towards the person and look at them regularly. Use eye contact where appropriate. Show interest through nodding and encouraging sounds such as "uh-huh", "yes" or "go on". Use a friendly and non-threatening posture. Stand close or give space, depending on what the person needs. Give them time to calm down or recover when needed, while showing that you still notice them.

Encouraging

Listen actively and stay emotionally available and positive. Use humour or playfulness where appropriate. Name what you notice, such as, "I can see that you're upset" or "I can hear your frustration". Wait for a response and feel comfortable with short periods of silence.

Receiving

Repeat or reflect back what the person tells you to show that you have listened and understood. Match and mirror their body language where appropriate to help them feel comfortable sharing more. Use their own words rather than professional terms. Think aloud by saying things such as, "I wonder if..." to explore thoughts and feelings further.

Being attuned together

Create a more equal and cooperative conversation. Take turns speaking, share thoughts and feelings, and check understanding regularly. Help people connect their thoughts and feelings with their behaviour if they have not already made those connections themselves.

Guiding and supporting

You will struggle to guide or support someone effectively unless you have already built attunement through the earlier steps. You may need to simplify information, explore options and ideas, solve problems, or provide information or practical help. Use your judgement to decide how much support the person needs.

Some people may not want support or guidance because of their early attachment experiences. They may avoid relying on others. Through an attuned response, we can help them feel more comfortable accepting support. Other people may depend too heavily on guidance. We can help them build confidence and independence.

Deepening discussion

When you build attunement and trust, you can use questions that encourage deeper thinking. You can challenge unhelpful assumptions or patterns of thinking. You can also share your own views and show that people can hold different opinions while still respecting each other. At the same time, you should not accept inappropriate behaviour.

Things to remember

Remember these points when using attunement:

• observe and understand each person's communication style, strengths and vulnerabilities so you can respond to their individual needs
• notice changes in learners' non-verbal communication, such as facial expressions, tone of voice and activity levels, so you can respond to issues early
• pay close attention to your own non-verbal communication, especially your facial expressions, as they can show interest, curiosity, joy, anger or disgust
• recognise that your age, role or perceived status may influence other people and remember that your words, actions and expressions carry extra weight, as criticism can feel damaging while approval can motivate and encourage
• notice how group dynamics affect individuals so you can identify and respond to issues early

Cultural competence is an ongoing process. It is not a checklist that you complete once and then finish.

Cross (1988), and Devore and Schlesinger (1999), say cultural competence:

"demands that we practice with skills, attitudes, and values that will make us effective and adequate in-service provision to clients who originate from a variety of cultural backgrounds."

Applying a culturally competent approach across your whole school helps you build strong relationships and create an inclusive culture and environment.

A culturally responsive and relational approach helps all members of your school community feel safe, valued and visible. It creates a sense of belonging for all pupils, whatever their race, gender, disability, faith or sexual orientation.

When people feel they belong, schools can:

• improve educational outcomes
• support positive and regulated behaviour
• strengthen a sense of belonging and community
• encourage individual and shared aspirations
• create an inclusive and accessible environment for everyone

School leaders and policymakers must protect the rights of all members of the community.

Meeting your legal duties

You must:

• comply with the Equality Act 2010 (see the advice for schools on GOV.UK)
• avoid unlawful discrimination against pupils and prospective pupils because of race or any other protected characteristic, which includes:
  • age
  • disability
  • gender reassignment
  • pregnancy and maternity
  • race
  • religion or belief
  • sex
  • sexual orientation

Under the Public Sector Equality Duty (PSED), you must:

• eliminate discrimination and other behaviour that the Equality Act prohibits
• advance equality of opportunity between people who share a protected characteristic and those who do not
• foster good relations between people who share a protected characteristic and those who do not

Find more information in the House of Commons Library research briefing about racial discrimination in schools.

Schools should aim for more than meeting statutory duties.

A transformative approach recognises that education forms part of a wider experience. Individuals and communities thrive when schools not only accept identity but also weave it into everyday culture.

How to use a culturally responsive approach

Cultural competence brings together theories, values and skills. Schools can develop it by:

• encouraging cultural curiosity and understanding
  acting with humility and empathy
• reflecting on practice as individuals and as organisations
• recognising historical events and understanding their impact today
• reviewing systems critically to identify cultural assumptions or deficit-based thinking
• developing a shared relational language that helps everyone build healthy and culturally responsive relationships

Staff development

All staff need opportunities to develop their cultural competence.

Schools should provide training that helps staff feel confident and supported in their practice. Staff need clear opportunities to develop their communication skills and professional practice. This helps culturally responsive approaches become part of every level of the school community.

Developing policies

Equity policies help ensure that all stakeholders, regardless of background, ability or circumstances, can access:

• high-quality learning opportunities
• authentic and healthy relationships
• safe and supportive environments

Effective equity policies help create learning environments that are free from harassment, bullying and prejudice. They support mental and emotional wellbeing and model healthy relationships and mutual understanding.

These policies help build a fairer society by creating environments where every learner and their family can thrive.

Schools should use relational language throughout their policies to reinforce and normalise this approach across the school.

Bullying is a form of discrimination. Schools should have clear policies and procedures to address all forms of bullying.

School environment

Schools should review their environment to understand how far it promotes heteronormative assumptions. This includes both the formal and hidden curriculum.

Displays in classrooms and around the school should:

• reflect the diversity of the school community
• celebrate different forms of achievement
• show a clear commitment to diverse relationships
• promote a zero-tolerance approach to homophobia

Books in school libraries should reflect a wide range of relationships and experiences.

All pupils and staff should learn about LGBTQ+ identities and gender identity. Schools should teach respect for and celebration of diversity.

Teaching children, young people and staff about respect, discrimination and prejudice helps schools take proactive action and can influence attitudes and values positively.

Examples of the approach

Schools have used a range of approaches, including:

• befriender volunteers who provide peer support and work closely with an adult befriender, particularly during transitions
• displays that reflect the diversity of the school community and celebrate different kinds of success
• safe spaces where pupils can pause, regulate emotions and speak with someone without fear of judgement or exposure, such as:
  • quiet spaces
  • wellbeing rooms
  • anti-bullying rooms
  • LGBTQ+ alliance spaces
  • young carers' spaces
  • year 7-only area
• active listening training for all staff so pupils can talk to an adult they trust
• LGBTQ+ and gender identity awareness training for all staff
• gender-neutral uniform

Challenges

Developing a culturally competent environment creates opportunities for lasting and meaningful change.

Schools should map their progress and create regular opportunities for reflection. This helps maintain momentum and direction.

Support self-reflection

Many people find self-exploration the most challenging part of this work.

Looking critically at beliefs, assumptions and practice can reveal uncomfortable truths. Schools should plan carefully for this work and support staff through relational approaches, coaching and mentoring.

Review systems, not just practice

Cultural competence is not transactional.

Schools cannot simply add it to existing structures if those structures create barriers. Leaders need to view this work as a purposeful reimagining of the organisation from the foundations upwards.

The Runnymede Trust states in its publication Race and Racism in English Secondary Schools:

"The cultivation of racial literacy should be seen as an ongoing process of learning and unlearning. Rather than as a tick-box 'skill' that one might acquire and retain with little effort, teachers should understand racial literacy as a constant journey, and they should be given the time, support and resources to pursue that journey. It should be part of continued professional development within schools and should be encouraged at all levels."

Accept mistakes and keep learning

Schools should normalise inexperience and mistakes.

This means accepting that we are not always the expert in the room, will have gaps in our knowledge and skills and that we must continue to learn.

This approach supports genuine co-production. Co-production plays an important role in developing and sustaining a relational approach in education.

Reading and resources

West Sussex County Council offers training and advice through the Ethnic Minority and Traveller Achievement Service (EMTAS).

The service includes:

• downloadable guidance and summary documents to help educational settings become anti-racist schools
• a continuing professional development (CPD) package with up to 15 hours of face-to-face or hybrid training
• enrichment opportunities and initiatives through the Student Action Cooperative
• self-reflection and assessment tools, including diversity audits

For more information, contact the EMTAS team at emat@westsussex.gov.uk.

You can see:

• Tools for Schools: Ethnic Minority and Traveller Achievement Service
• Local Offer: Ethnic Minority and Traveller Achievement Service

Contact your EMTAS Advisory Teacher or email emat@westsussex.gov.uk to request the current anti-racism guidance document.

The team can also explain the anti-racism training package and discuss any related enquiries.

References

Brett, A., Bodfield, K., Culshaw, A. & Johnson, B. (2024). Exploring LGBTQ+ teacher professional identity through the power threat meaning framework. British Educational Research Journal, 50, 2920-2936

Foldy, E. & Buckley, T. (2017). Reimagining Cultural Competence: Bringing Buried Dynamics Into the Light. The Journal of Applied Behavioral Science, 53

Halse, C. (2018). Theories and Theorising of Belonging.

Healy, M. (2019). Belonging, social cohesion and fundamental British values. British Journal of Educational Studies, 67(4), 423-438.

Joseph-Salisbury, R. (2020). Race and Racism in English Secondary Schools. Runnymede Trust.

Mechlenborg, M. & Neergaard, M. de. (2024). Lefebvre's spatial triad for children: a teaching model for spatial thinking in the classroom. International Research in Geographical and Environmental Education, 33(2), 94-108.

Miller, P., Hill-Berry, N. P., Hylton-Fraser, K. & Powell, S. (2019). Social justice work as activism: the work of education professionals in England and Jamaica. International Studies in Educational Administration (ISEA), 47(1), 3-19.

Miller, P., Lane, J. & Jaeggi, K. (2022). School leaders leading curriculum inclusion: Re-culturing pedagogy, re-imagining the student experience. Equity in Education & Society, 1(1), 97-113.

Williams, C. (2006). The Epistemology of Cultural Competence. Families in Society: The Journal of Contemporary Social Services, 87, 209-220

Emotion Coaching is a relationship-based approach that psychologist John Gottman developed. It works well alongside PACE.

Adults use empathy and guidance to help children understand and manage strong emotions. Adults still set clear limits and may use consequences when behaviour is not acceptable. At the same time, they recognise and validate the child's feelings. They then help the child find better ways to respond.

Research shows positive outcomes for children who receive emotion coaching. Randomised controlled trials (for example, Havighurst et al., 2012; Gottman et al., 1997) found that these children:

• have fewer behavioural problems
• achieve more at school
• show greater emotional stability
• build stronger resilience
• develop better relationships with peers

Research also links emotion coaching with secure attachment.

The 4 step approach

In UK education settings, adults use emotion coaching when a child feels calm enough to talk. The approach has 4 steps.

Recognise feelings and show empathy

Notice how the child feels and respond with empathy.

For example:

"You hung your head and looked very upset. It's hard to feel left out by your friends."

Validate and name feelings

Acknowledge the child's feelings and help them identify the emotion.

For example:

"Everyone feels lonely sometimes. I think I would have felt left out in that situation too."

Set limits on behaviour

Explain clearly when behaviour is not acceptable.

For example:

"It is not okay to push other children because this is unsafe."

Solve problems together

Help the child think about other ways to respond.

For example:

"How else could we tell the others that you want to be included?"

Schools that use emotion coaching with children during challenging situations report positive results. Research shows that adults become less dismissive of children's emotions and staff wellbeing improves. Children become better at managing their behaviour, and schools use fewer punitive sanctions (for example, Rose et al., 2015).

Reading and resources

You can find more information about Emotion Coaching from:

• Developing Resilience with Emotion Coaching: Developing resilience with Emotion Coaching - Norland, Bath
• Emotion Coaching UK
• Emotion Coaching with Children and Young People in Schools - Google Books

Training

For training on using emotion coaching with young people, see the West Sussex Thought-full.

PACE is an approach that clinical psychologist Dr Dan Hughes developed to guide interactions with children affected by developmental trauma.

PACE can help anyone who feels overwhelmed or unable to manage their emotions. It helps people feel calmer, build trust and understand their feelings better.

PACE focuses on creating connection and trust in relationships. As a result, people often feel safer and more secure. The approach draws on the relationship between a baby and their caregiver.

What PACE is

PACE stands for:

• playfulness
• acceptance
• curiosity
• empathy

These 4 qualities help adults build safe, supportive relationships with children and young people.

Playfulness

Playfulness can reduce feelings of shame and help young people reconnect with others when they feel upset or distressed. It can also help when you need to redirect behaviour.

Playfulness can include playing together. It can also include positive, light-hearted interactions that feel safe and enjoyable.

When adults show they enjoy spending time with a child, the child's body releases hormones that create feelings of pleasure and connection. Adults can encourage this by:

• using humour
• speaking in an animated and friendly way
• smiling when they see the child
• showing genuine enjoyment of the child's company

Playfulness does not mean that you accept inappropriate behaviour. Children may still need educational or restorative consequences later. However, you must first help the child regulate their stress before you can manage behaviour effectively.

Playfulness may also include:

• theraplay activities
• smiling and humour
• friendly nicknames
• personalised greetings
• informal conversations about topics that interest the child

Acceptance

Acceptance means showing unconditional positive regard for the child while setting clear limits when needed.

A PACE-ful adult accepts the child's feelings and experiences, even when they cannot accept the behaviour that follows.

Acceptance involves listening carefully and taking a child's feelings seriously. It means avoiding actions that dismiss, minimise or correct emotions. It also means avoiding rushing straight into problem-solving.

Acceptance requires active listening and a willingness to understand the child's point of view. It starts from the belief that the child is doing the best they can in that situation.

You can show acceptance through your body language and through comments such as:

• "I get that this is a big deal for you."
• "Let me see if I have this right..."
• "This doesn't change how I feel about you."
• "There are no right or wrong feelings."

Curiosity

After you validate and soothe a child's emotions, you can encourage self-reflection through curiosity.

PACE-ful adults often wonder aloud about the needs or feelings behind a child's behaviour. The child does not need to agree with or respond to these observations.

When adults show curiosity, they demonstrate that they value the child. Curiosity also helps children understand themselves better, which can support self-control over time.

Curious comments might include:

• "I wonder if today feels especially difficult because our routine has changed."
• "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm thinking you might have felt frustrated by the task."
• "I've noticed this pattern in how school goes for you. I wonder what might be causing it."

Empathy

Empathy plays an important role in PACE when the child feels able to accept it.

Empathy involves:

• naming the child's feelings
• recognising and validating their emotions
• showing that you are trying to understand their experience

You can show empathy through your facial expressions, tone of voice and words.

Empathetic comments might include:

• "No wonder you felt like that."
• "I can see how that would hurt."
• "Things have been really tough lately."

Reading and resources

For more information about PACE, visit the DDP Network.

For training on using PACE in schools, visit West Sussex Virtual School training and events.

Unlike authoritarian approaches, restorative practice helps children resolve conflict by focusing on the harm caused and encouraging them to solve problems and repair relationships. It reduces shame and helps children learn from incidents through discussion and negotiation.

In restorative practice, accountability means putting things right rather than receiving punishment. Adults and children need to learn how to listen actively and express their views respectfully. Schools should also develop these skills through the PSHE curriculum.

A trained restorative facilitator helps children:

• reflect on their thoughts and feelings
• understand and name their emotions
• feel heard and understood
• express their views respectfully

The facilitator supports everyone involved to:

• share their perspective
• identify their feelings
• recognise any harm caused
• agree solutions together

Using restorative practice

Restorative practice sits on a continuum and can take different forms.

Adults can use informal approaches, such as affective statements, affective questions and brief conversations. For example:

"When I see [behaviour], I feel [emotion] because I need [value or need]. Would you be willing to [alternative behaviour]?"

Schools can also use more formal approaches, including:

• restorative groups
• problem-solving circles
• restorative conferences

The most appropriate approach depends on the number of people involved and the situation.

Everyone involved must agree to take part in the restorative process. This helps prevent children from experiencing intolerable shame, fear or re-victimisation.

Restorative practice helps children focus on guilt about a behaviour rather than shame about themselves. For example, a child may think, "I did a bad thing" rather than "I am bad". This encourages learning, empathy and repair.

As a result, restorative questions focus on solutions and minimise blame.

Areas of reflection

Building a shared understanding

The aim is not to establish a single version of events through interrogation. People often experience and remember events differently. A child's stress response and level of understanding at the time may also affect how they describe what happened.
Some young people may need support to organise and explain their account of the incident.

Exploring thoughts and feelings

The facilitator helps young people identify their thoughts and feelings. They listen carefully, reflect back what they hear and show empathy for the emotions involved.

Understanding the impact

Exploring the natural consequences of behaviour can help children understand its impact. This often helps children learn more effectively than adult-imposed sanctions.

The discussion also considers who the behaviour has affected.

Identifying needs

The discussion explores what each person needed at the time and what they need now to move forward. Everyone's needs matter at this stage.

Making things right

The discussion focuses on how everyone can move forward and make different choices in the future.

A young person may choose to take reparative action, such as:

• trying a different strategy in future
• writing a letter of apology
• making a positive gesture to repair a relationship

These actions only have value when the young person helps develop the idea and genuinely wants to make amends.

Schools should encourage reparation in its broadest sense. However, apologies and restorative actions should not be compulsory and may not always be appropriate.

In some situations, schools may also use a protective consequence alongside the restorative process to keep everyone safe.

In practice

Research continues to show the benefits of restorative approaches when schools implement them correctly and use them consistently across the whole school.

Studies have shown that restorative approaches can:

• reduce serious behavioural incidents (McCluskey et al., 2008)
• reduce bullying (Barnet YOS, 2008)
• reduce fixed-term exclusions (Weber & Vereenooghe, 2020)
• improve emotional literacy (Skinns, Du Rose, & Hough, 2009)
• improve staff and student wellbeing (Skinns, Du Rose, & Hough, 2009)
• improve communication between staff and students (Skinns, Du Rose, & Hough, 2009)

What a restorative school is

A restorative school uses restorative approaches to prevent harm and resolve conflict.

These approaches help people who have experienced harm explain its impact. They also help those responsible recognise the impact of their actions and take steps to repair the harm.

Schools can use restorative methods to:

• prevent relationship-damaging incidents
• resolve incidents when they happen
• strengthen relationships across the school community

Becoming a restorative school can bring many benefits, including:

• higher attendance
• fewer exclusions
• improved achievement
• less bullying
• less classroom disruption
• reduced truancy and poor attendance
• less antisocial behaviour
• fewer disputes between pupils, families and staff

Taking a whole-school approach

Restorative approaches work best when everyone in the school community understands and uses them.

This includes:

• pupils
• teaching staff
• non-teaching staff
• school leaders
• families
• the wider school community

For this reason, restorative schools adopt a whole-school approach.

A Department for Education report gave whole-school restorative approaches the highest effectiveness rating for preventing bullying. In a survey of schools, 97% rated restorative approaches as effective.
For information about accessing restorative practice training in West Sussex, contact your MHST linked practitioner or Advisory Teacher.

Reading and resources

For more information, see:

• Anti-Bullying Alliance
• The Restorative Classroom (Google Books)
• Restorative Solutions (Google Books)
• Training on restorative approaches

Peer mentoring is a one-to-one, non-judgemental relationship between people of a similar age or people who share similar experiences.

Training as a peer mentor helps young people learn and develop valuable skills and qualities. They benefit personally while also helping others.

Benefits of the programme

The programme helps young people to:

• improve communication skills
• build self-esteem and confidence
• develop positive relationships with peers
• understand and empathise with others
• strengthen decision-making skills
• develop conflict resolution skills
• take responsibility
• build a sense of community and belonging

The programme can also help young people improve behaviour and attendance and reduce bullying.

Roles after the programme

When mentors complete the programme, they can support younger pupils (mentees) at school through a structured mentoring programme.

They can also take on roles such as:

• playground buddy
• transition buddy
• dinnertime buddy
• office assistant

How schools decide mentor roles

Schools decide each mentor's role based on:

• the school's aims
• each child's progress on the programme

People need to feel like they belong. Researchers have recognised this as a basic human need for many years (Baumeister and Leary, 1995; Bowlby, 1969; Maslow, 1943). Evidence shows that a child's or young person's sense of belonging has a strong effect on their social, emotional and mental health, as well as their academic performance.

Researchers suggest that a pupil's sense of belonging at school can strongly influence their motivation, engagement and participation in learning (Carol Goodenow & Kathleen Grady, 1993).

Recent government research shows that only 3 in 5 pupils feel a sense of belonging at school. At the same time, 15-year-olds in the UK report some of the lowest levels of life satisfaction across OECD countries (PISA, Department for Education, 2023).

Allen et al. (2021) define school belonging as "the extent to which students feel personally accepted, respected, included and supported by others in the school environment."

Influences on pupils' belonging

Several factors can shape whether a pupil feels they belong at school:

• relationships with teachers
• relationships with peers
• individual traits
• parental support
• school culture
• academic achievement and attendance
• wellbeing

Teacher-student relationships

Research shows a strong link between teacher empathy and a pupil's sense of belonging. Pupils feel a stronger connection to school when teachers listen to them and show that they care.

Schools can build belonging when staff and pupils develop relationships based on care, respect, encouragement, friendliness and fairness. Research also shows that the emotional support teachers provide has a significant effect on a pupil's sense of belonging.

Peer relationships and peer support

Positive social interactions and support from peers help pupils feel connected to others. Friendships made through extracurricular activities can play an especially important role and strongly predict a pupil's sense of belonging.

Research also shows lower levels of bullying in schools where pupils feel a strong sense of belonging.

Individual traits

Some personal characteristics can strengthen a pupil's connection to school. Research links self-efficacy, conscientiousness and hope with a stronger sense of belonging.

Gender can also influence how pupils experience belonging. Studies show that girls are more likely than boys to report a sense of belonging at school. Pupils with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) are more likely to report that they do not feel they belong at school.

Parental support

Parents and carers influence a pupil's connection to school as well as their experiences at home. Research shows that parental involvement and support create an environment of care, compassion and encouragement. These factors can make a significant contribution to a pupil's sense of belonging.

School culture

School culture plays an important role in helping pupils feel that they belong. Safety, fairness and supportive relationships can all strengthen this feeling.

Pupils need to feel safe both physically and emotionally. When schools apply policies fairly and create positive interactions between staff and pupils, they help pupils feel more included and supported.

Some situations can weaken a pupil's sense of belonging. For example, pupils may have fewer positive interactions with others during unsupervised periods of the school day.

Academic achievement and attendance

Research links low academic achievement with a weaker sense of belonging. In contrast, pupils who feel that they belong at school often show:

• higher achievement
• better classroom engagement
• stronger motivation
• better attendance

Attendance and belonging have a particularly strong connection for pupils who face additional risks or challenges. Higher levels of belonging often link to higher attendance rates.

Wellbeing

A strong sense of belonging at school supports a pupil's happiness and mental health. Pupils who feel they belong are often happier, more confident and more likely to do well at school.

Research also links school belonging to better mental health outcomes, including:

• lower levels of suicidal ideation
• lower levels of depression
• better sleep quality, particularly among secondary-age pupils

Feeling connected to and supported by others at school can help protect pupils from stress and low mood, regardless of their background.

Some experiences can reduce a pupil's sense of belonging and affect their mental health and self-esteem. These include:

• bullying
• isolation as a disciplinary practice
• loneliness

Why belonging matters

Schools often place a strong focus on academic achievement. However, schools cannot separate attainment from a pupil's sense of belonging.

Teachers, peers, personal characteristics and factors outside school all contribute to a pupil's experience of belonging. When schools understand and address these factors, they can create a more inclusive learning environment for all pupils.

Reading and resources

The National Education Union (NEU) commissioned the research report, 'Place and Belonging in School: why it matters today', in November 2020. The report provides examples of how schools can use intentional, whole-school approaches to create a welcoming environment where pupils feel they belong.

A clear and purposeful approach can:

• involve the whole school community
• improve the experiences of everyone involved
• support positive long-term development across the school

Creating a sense of place and belonging in schools | National Education Union

Belonging research booklet.pdf

Belonging research Literature Review.pdf

Trauma sensitive practice is not about looking for trauma in every child. It is about building positive relationships with everyone in the school community.

What being trauma sensitive means

Being trauma sensitive is not about using specific interventions. It is about attitudes, values and the way people interact with others every day.

Staff who take a trauma sensitive approach:

• greet children warmly and say goodbye to them at the end of the day
• use compassionate language
• show a genuine interest in children and their lives
• build positive relationships
• understand that traumatised children do their best to cope and may need extra support
• notice children and listen to them
• help children understand their emotions
• enjoy spending time with children
• avoid actions that retraumatise or shame children
• recognise that every interaction can make a positive difference

Some people naturally take a trauma sensitive approach and may not need specific training.

Benefits of a trauma sensitive whole-school approach

A trauma sensitive whole-school approach can improve:

• attendance
• academic progress
• attainment
• exclusion rates

This approach also helps create a culture where pupils, staff and families feel safe, valued and that they belong.

How trauma affects learning

Trauma sensitive practice recognises that earlier life experiences affect how traumatised children function in education settings.
Schools can reduce the impact of these experiences by creating physical and emotional environments where children feel safe. This can help children move from survival mode into a state where they can learn.

This approach also recognises children's needs at their current stage of development. Staff can then support children to move forward and develop new skills and ways of thinking.

The impact of trauma on children

Abuse, neglect and other traumatic experiences can affect a child's brain, body and ability to take part fully in school life and learning.

Many traumatised children experience difficulties with:

• trusting adults
• managing emotions
• building friendships
• attachment
• executive functioning
• stress
• anxiety
• shame

Why trauma sensitive practice matters for all children

A trauma sensitive approach benefits all children, not only those who have experienced developmental trauma.

Creating a fully trauma sensitive education setting requires commitment from every member of staff. It is a significant piece of work that needs strong leadership.

As Josh Byers, Head Teacher of Biscovey Academy in Cornwall, says:

"This is an everybody thing, but it has to be driven from the top. So don’t just dip your toe in. Embrace this, not as a scheme that’s going to sort out all your behaviour needs, but as a way of being."

The role of trusted adults

Individual adults can make a positive difference to a child's experience of education.

Betsy de Thierry, psychotherapist, trainer, author and Founder of the Trauma Recovery Centre, says:

"The only way to enable a child to recover [from trauma] is to help them feel calm and safe by being a safe person who can support and help them. When a person has been hurt in a relationship, they can only be healed in a relationship."

Supporting children who have experienced trauma

Children who experience adversity and trauma need support to take part successfully in education, learning and social opportunities.

Educators can help by:

• helping children feel safe
• developing caring relationships
• recognising and validating feelings
• showing empathy
• staying curious about children's experiences and emotions
• helping children regulate their emotions
• using play appropriately to support learning and connection
• strengthening children's sense of belonging
• modelling positive skills and behaviours
• creating opportunities to practise skills together
• being reliable and consistent
• providing clear boundaries
• helping children manage difficult emotions

Example of impact in a school

The Head Teacher at Clements Primary Academy in Suffolk became increasingly concerned about the number of exclusions.

By Easter 2019, the school had the highest number of fixed-term exclusions (FTEs) across the 16 schools in its trust. The school had also made 3 permanent exclusions.

The school then introduced training and implemented a trauma informed approach. The impact appeared in the school's data. Since February 2020, the school has recorded no fixed-term or permanent exclusions.

Training and support in West Sussex

In West Sussex, the Virtual School supports education providers that want to develop a trauma sensitive approach.

The Virtual School offers a wide range of free training and events for West Sussex education providers. These opportunities help staff understand the impact of adversity and trauma and learn how to reduce that impact in education settings.

You can find details of current training on the Virtual School website.

Trauma glossary

Developmental trauma

Developmental trauma describes the wide-ranging impact of early, repeated trauma and loss within a child's important relationships, usually during early childhood.

Intergenerational trauma

Intergenerational trauma describes the transfer of trauma between generations of the same family.

Minority trauma

Minority trauma describes the cumulative emotional and psychological impact of experiencing or witnessing discrimination towards people from minority groups.

Secondary or vicarious trauma

Secondary or vicarious trauma describes the emotional and psychological distress people experience when they are exposed to the trauma of others.

Examples include:

• supporting people who have experienced trauma
• working with people who have experienced trauma
• repeated exposure to graphic images
• repeated exposure to stories of traumatic experiences

Relational trauma

Relational trauma describes trauma that happens within a close relationship, usually with a caregiver.

Complex or compound trauma

Complex or compound trauma describes:

• exposure to multiple traumatic events, often involving personal relationships
• the long-term and wide-ranging effects of those experiences

These events are often severe and ongoing, such as abuse or profound neglect.

Chronic trauma

Chronic trauma describes long-term exposure to 1 or more forms of trauma, such as:

• neglect
• sexual abuse
• intimate partner abuse

Exposure may happen continuously or in repeated episodes.