Principle 7: Working with families
A relational approach focuses on positive relationships and open communication. Schools and parents need to work together for this approach to succeed.
When schools and families work as partners, they can support a child's learning, emotional wellbeing and social development. A shared approach between home and school gives children the consistency they need to succeed.
Parents understand their child best. They can share valuable information about their child's needs, strengths and behaviour. This helps schools use relational strategies that work for each child.
When schools involve all families in a meaningful way, they build trust, reduce worry and create a strong support network. This benefits not only individual children but the whole school community.
Relational practice promotes empathy, respect and cooperation. These values help create a safe, healthy and supportive environment for everyone in the school community.
Relational approaches use differentiated discipline (Bombèr, 2020). This approach focuses on understanding the reasons behind behaviour instead of relying on punishment. When schools and families use the same strategies, children receive consistent and personalised support. This helps them develop self-regulation, resilience and positive relationships. Without support from parents, schools may struggle to provide this consistency.
Schools can strengthen relationships with parents by building trust, especially with families who may feel unsure about engaging because of past experiences. By working together, schools and families can create shared goals and lasting partnerships that help every child and family thrive.
How schools can implement relational practice and work with families
Building a shared understanding of relational practice
Approach
Help staff and parents understand relational practice. Focus on trust, individual needs and understanding behaviour rather than punishing it.
How to do it
Schools can build understanding by:
- providing training so staff understand relational practice
- offering workshops that explain the approach to parents
- sharing regular messages through newsletters, meetings and
- other communication channels
- clearly explaining the approach in the behaviour policy
School's role
Schools should:
- regularly share information about relational strategies with parents
- build trust through open and two-way communication from the start
Collaborative goal setting and individualised approaches
Approach
Work with parents to create individual relational support plans that reflect a child's strengths, needs and achievable goals.
How to do it
Schools can do this by:
- meeting parents to discuss the child's needs and agree goals
- creating behaviour and relational support plans together
- reviewing progress regularly and updating plans when needed
School's role
Schools should:
- keep parents informed about progress
- involve parents in decisions and changes to strategies
Consistency between home and school
Approach
Use the same strategies at school and at home so children receive clear and consistent support.
How to do it
Schools can support consistency by:
- developing shared home-school agreements with parents
- using communication logs to record progress and challenges
- offering workshops and resources that help parents use relational
- practices at home
School's role
Schools should:
- keep parents updated on strategies and progress
- work with families to align support at home and school
Supporting parental involvement
Approach
Treat parents as active partners and give them the tools, resources and opportunities to use relational practices at home.
How to do it
Schools can encourage involvement by:
- running parent support groups where families can share ideas and experiences
- providing resources that help parents use relational practices
- demonstrating strategies during workshops and meetings
School's role
Schools should:
- invite parents to help create behaviour plans
- promote the value of working together to support children
Challenges
Concerns about relational discipline being ‘too soft’
Some parents may think relational strategies are too lenient and do not hold children accountable.
Suggestions
You can address these concerns by:
- explaining that relational practice includes clear boundaries and focuses on teaching rather than punishing
- showing how relational discipline helps children take responsibility for their actions through understanding and connection
- highlighting the positive long-term effects on behaviour and self-regulation
Sample script
"Relational discipline focuses on teaching rather than excusing behaviour. We set clear boundaries and help your child understand the impact of their actions. This helps them learn, grow and achieve better long-term outcomes."
Building trust and gaining parental support
Some parents may feel unsure about relational approaches because they are unfamiliar with them or differ from more traditional approaches to discipline.
Suggestions
You can build trust by:
- involving parents in discussions about their child's needs and the strategies being used
- reassuring parents that relational practice forms part of a consistent approach to child development
- providing information, resources and workshops that explain the benefits of relational practice
Sample script
"We use a relational approach to support your child's development. This approach is not about being lenient. It focuses on building trust, developing responsibility and helping children learn from their experiences. We want to work with you so that we can support your child together."